TRIGGER WARNING (TW): The following article contains information about mental illnesses and self harm/suicide that may be upsetting to some audiences. As a result, this sensitive information would be written in red.
Mental health is a critical component to the proper functioning of any human being. In other words, it’s make or break for a person, where poor mental health can really reduce you to a lot less than you’re capable of and a general inability to see your worth.
The importance of mental health is not selective for one gender over another. This means that both males and females should equally prioritize their mental health. In reality however, that isn’t the case but why?
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Mental health illnesses tend to be overlooked in males and traditionally, society would have created a ridiculously false narrative that men are not allowed to feel emotions or even struggle as there entire existence was seemingly fabricated out of being robotic. Men were essentially made synonymous to a robot, functioning in a vacuum away from a world which was created to be felt and this function started an ended at being a provider. Their worth has unfortunately been intertwined with making money or other materialistic gains such as getting a house or a car. While nothing is wrong with wanting these items, to base your worth on it immediately limits your worth to that of your achievements. It’s almost as if being a male means you have to do something to prove your worth, daily and consistently and the moment one or some of these achievements are delayed, or not forthcoming, is the moment that a male loses his value.
Additionally, there are other factors that may have contributed to the existence of this mental health gender disparity. These include sexism, trauma, stressful working/living environment, addictions, separation/divorce, childhood abuse/family issues.
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Statistical Data Associated With Mental Health Issues In Males (TW In Effect)
To put things into perspective, taking quick look at statistical data recorded within the United States of America and the United Kingdom, it shows that there is a serious disparity between mental health issues across genders and what was even more disheartening was these vast amounts of studies were not available for my country, Trinidad and Tobago. Is it available within your country? Have you taken the time to check to see for yourself? At any rate, here’s what I found:
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Based on a study conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 15.1% of adult American men were diagnosed with some form of mental illness in 2017. Furthermore, a report conducted by The American Psychological Association showed that on a daily basis, nine (9%) percent of men have feelings of anxiety and or depression. Out of the men suffering with anxiety/depression only one quarter of them sought assistance with the remainder resorting to taking drugs to cope or not addressing it at all.
Men were also found to take their lives three and a half (3.5) times more than females despite the fact that females are recorded to suffer from more mental health illnesses than males. While females are more likely to attempt suicide, males were found to be more likely to succeed at their attempt.
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With this data, one must be cautious and keep in mind that these polls and studies may not be representative of an entire population and should not be superimposed onto other countries, just because studies were done in a particular country does not mean the results would reflect on your country which outlines the importance of conducting multiple accurate studies within your own country to get a proper reflection on the males and by extension, the population within your own country.
However, whether it is found to be higher or lower, that should not take away from the importance, where emphasis is placed on males, and for the purpose of this piece, on mental health illnesses.
What Does It Mean For Males With Mental Health Issues?
Now that the issue of the worrying differences in mental health in males are highlighted, then what? What can we do to reduce the occurrence or lessen the gap? It starts with you and it starts with now, where ‘you’ is every single member in society which has been subject to this type of harmful thinking. Here are four (4) things that can be done to, at the very least, begin changing the mentality towards mental health illnesses in males.
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1.Unlearning The Narrative That Men Are Robots
We must find a way to unlearn what we’ve become to accept and consider normal or okay. And while unlearning may sound impossible to some and simple to some others, I’d say it’s neither. It can however be a very uncomfortable process because it would mean having an open mind and it comes with the willingness to forget what you held to be true. You must be open to change and that involves seeing everything at the most elementary level which is the level of human existence. Humans all want and need the same things, it just comes in different forms, different disguises and when you get to the point where you view humans in their most native forms then you’d see that men also want/need to be connected to their emotions. They are NOT robots.
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2. Show that you care
A big misconception is that persons feel the need to be understood when truthfully speaking, nobody would ever understand exactly how you feel. While the focus is on males, this can be extended to everyone. Males, as simple as they may appear to be, are complicated beings just as any human being. It may be frustrating at times to attempt to understand them as well, which is why I am of the unpopular belief that some of the effort that goes into trying to understand should go into showing that you care. It’s quite possible that to some, trying to understand is a form of caring which may be true but at times the answers you seek in trying to understand may be unknown to the males themselves which can lead to further distress. Being there and checking in is a great way of showing that you care, sometimes there are silent battles faced daily by men and when they feel as if the entire world is against them, show them that you’re on their side, show that you care.
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3. Be Patient
For men, it may take a while before they open up. Whether it be due to the fact that they don’t want/are unable to trust others with their emotions or they are willing to, and simply have a hard time expressing themselves properly. You must keep in mind that opening up can be a very difficult process for someone who only ever knew to bottle up and suppress their emotions. Things may not even make sense at first but I’d always say it’s better to get everything out first, then make sense of it after, avoid trying to make sense of everything from the moment of hearing or observing it which leads me to my other point…
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4. Listen To Support Not To Reply
‘Listen’ and ‘Silent’ are spelt with the same letters
Alfred Brendel
When men open up on their mental health issues they may be facing, the last thing that should be done is to talk and drown them out with your responses or questions that you may have. To create a space where men are comfortable enough to talk with you, means that you need to allow them to say what’s on their mind without worry of having to deal with problems that in hindsight, would be perceived to only exist because they opened up in the first place. Men need more reasons to talk, not another reason not to. Hear them out, even if they’re saying something that you may not necessarily agree with or believe to be true but by listening supportively, they would be more inclined to sharing more as opposed to being put in a defensive state for being criticized for what they’re saying.
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Getting The Conversation Started
While the points above are only a few of the main ones that I considered to be of help in changing the environment around mental health illnesses in males, are there any key ones that you think should have been here? Feel free to leave a comment below, male or female, your voice matters.
Acknowledgements
At this point I would like to thank the collaborator, Breaking the Stigma who would have suggested the idea of writing this piece in particular, it is our intention to make this the first of many collaborations. There are also several other persons who would have supported me thus far and I would like to thank every single one of you! You know yourselves 🙂
Those reading for the first time, feel free to leave a comment, like and subscribe, follow me on Instagram where I have some really exciting content coming up. Remember to be safe, stay blessed and until next time, your favourite blogger, AyAyRun.
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